Christmas to Epiphany IV: “God is in love with our smallness”

"Do I allow myself to be taken up by God, to be embraced by him, or do I prevent him from drawing close?" 

Pope Francis asked this in his Midnight Mass homily. "'But I am searching for the Lord' – we could respond. Nevertheless, what is most important is not seeking him, but rather allowing him to find me and caress me with tenderness. The question put to us simply by the Infant’s presence is: do I allow God to love me?”

We look again at Fr. Alfred Delp S.J.’s ultimate question in light of the Christmas event: What difference does it make to me?

Five years ago I was given medical news that made me aware that I could die at any moment. It is the reason I began this blog, and whence its title.  I thought that I’d been given lemons. Everything changed because I saw death for the first time as real and present.  I acted more lovingly and caringly toward my wife.  I didn’t sweat things. I delighted in the present, and was continuously grateful for the past.  My life changed.  But I must confess that my life has mostly changed back.  

What difference does it make to me that I felt death near? I’m ashamed to say, not enough.  I too often fail to delight in things, including my life companion.  A worry about the future, and that worry robs me of the present.  But most of all, I allow my sense of inadequacy to distract me from everything. 

So the Pope’s question, and Delp's rings familiar; it stops me and turns me around.  God is actually in love with the thing about myself that I most reject – my smallness.  Did I earn enough money in my lifetime to enjoy growing old with my wife?  Can I drop my fears about the good that I can do with others based on my reluctance to accept myself, flaws and all?  Can I enjoy the company of others undistracted by my thoughts that I don’t matter to them?

So as we contemplate the Christmas event, as we sit before the image of the manger scene, perhaps you will join me in allowing the story to take me in.  Allow yourself to be lifted up into the story with me.  Will we find ourselves as the babe, feeling the warmth of Mary?  Will we be Mary, or Joseph, or a shepherd, or a sheep? 

Contemplative prayer, like life in the love of God, is something that the Pope reminds us is not doing something, but accepting something.  Being drawn into the presence of God, or for that matter, God in the present, is a gift.  It is a gift already given. It is offered every moment. 

Pope Francis’s question is Delp’s.  Will I let God love me, and experience my life changing?  Will you?

 FreeLemonadeStand by John J. Daniels is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.